Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
