It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
