He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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