I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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