Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
