the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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