PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
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