College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
