Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
