he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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