No, you can still breathe under the balls.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
