I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
