butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
