...so i touched it.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
