so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
