talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
did i walk over a car last night?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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