drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
