Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
