awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I deserve this hangover.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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