Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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