i wish my penis had a tongue
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
