Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
