This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
