hotel room ftw
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
