i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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