everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
