my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
BRING THE BAGELS
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize