your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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