So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
