hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
