Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
