we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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