I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
