So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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