i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
