This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
