yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
