The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
