I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
