fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
