It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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