Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
