Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My pussy is not your playground.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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