singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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