i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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