i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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