A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
