I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
