i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
