I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
