hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
